My Four Fathers

a collaboration with my daughter when she was very young

My Four Fathers
My name is Mia and I have four dads. My best dad is called Jonno Mofo. He lives with me in Newport. He’s a rock star.

He says I have a good imagination but mum says we talk shit.

My worst dad lives in America, his name is Mike Hall. He’s a con man. He sold my Bratz dolls and my Littlest Pet Shop figures on ebay. And he didn’t give me a cent. He lives in a maximum security jail in Nevada.

I have a dad in Africa called Mbumbo Mumthungo. He’s a ranger at a game reserve in Botswana. He has a pet elephant called Bob.

My last dad, Shwami Savati, lives in India. He works at a call centre in Bangalore. He rings us every night at dinner time. It’s really annoying.

You may ask how it is that I have four fathers. I don’t understand how it works, I’m only six.

I have sixteen half-sisters and most of their names rhyme; Mary-Lou and Vindaloo, Pikachu and Coo Ca Choo. To name but a few.

I’ve asked my dad, Jonno Mofo, to write a song about them. But he’s too busy.

In case you’re wondering, one of my dads did help me write this story. Can you guess which one?