“…She took me by the hand, led me to the toilet and locked the door. ‘How do we do it?’ I whispered. ‘I thought you’d be the expert,’ she giggled, kicking her shoes off, wriggling out of her jeans then slipping her knickers off.

I got such a massive erection I could hardly get my button undone. She danced around me provocatively while I struggled to pull my jeans off over my shoes. She pushed me down onto the toilet and sat astride me, while I pushed one shoe, helplessly, against the other.

‘No time for that,’ she whispered, guiding my penis into her, then riding up and down in time to the rattling of the wheels below. ‘Close your eyes,’ she whispered. ‘It’s romantic.’

I closed my eyes and I wouldn’t go so far as to say it was romantic – we were in a toilet for God’s sake. – but it was fun. It was exciting. Fiona moaned and whimpered in my ear as she rode me relentlessly, over bridges and through tunnels, my knee banging occasionally against the wall. I kept thinking someone was knocking at the door but even if the door had opened we were so far gone we would have kept at it.

‘Last lap, Phar Lap,’ she whispered as she whipped me mercilessly on, till finally, snorting and braying, my heart ready to burst, we crossed the finish line.

I fell off the seat and we lay, panting, on the floor, in a tangle of limbs. There was an unmistakable knock on the door and, stifling our giggles, we hurriedly pulled our clothes on. Fiona opened the door to an old woman who gave us a very dirty look as we passed her.


‘Disgusting,’ she muttered. ‘Like dogs.’ ”
Excerpt from THE ROAD BEHIND